Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
