Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
