so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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