i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
