You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize