i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize