Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
