Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
