My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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