Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
