Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize