And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
