Me. At least after what I've been through.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
