Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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