god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
