it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were destined to go to rehab together
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
