dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize