I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
