just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
