I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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