Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize