Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
