It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
