Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
