You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize
