The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
