You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
