haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
