lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
