think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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