That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
