You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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