the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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