maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
