I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
