We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
