So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
What a dumb baby whore.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
