Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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