doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
