Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
