I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
me + whiskey = a bad person
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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