it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
