so explain again why im purple
no
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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