Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
