I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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