I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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