pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
