Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
