True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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