...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
