The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
