Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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