guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Every concussion has its silver lining
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize