can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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