And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
