so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I love you.
Bad choice
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize