Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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