i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize