Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
