"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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