Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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