He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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