Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
