I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
